Thursday 22 September 2011

Ways to improve postnatal care #1: Don't call me mum

This is a plea to midwives, nurses, doctors and health visitors who see women in the hours, days and weeks following the birth of their baby. Don't call me mum. There is one person in the world currently allowed to call me mum, and she can't speak properly yet. 

I know it's easier to just call everyone by the same name, but you manage to use names in every other ward so let's do it in maternity too. You may have put your hands up our most private bits, you may have seen us grunt and cry and bleed and push and poo as our babies came out, but pretend for a moment we're not just on the birth conveyor belt and that we're individuals with names and feelings. That way we might just feel your plans for our health and the health of our babies are individualised too. 

Ways to improve postnatal care #3: Help us buy the basics

Ways to improve postnatal care #2: Change the sheets

11 comments:

  1. And how about sonographers not referring to "bubba" while carrying out scans? *ergh*...
    "The Baby" (or foetus - I'm not emotional about it) would be just fine.

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  2. I agree. I think they do is they think we like being called mum, especially at first.

    We don't.

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  3. I think it was the talk I had to sit through before leaving hospital which covered jabs, jaundice etc etc, where a woman, who was THE prototype for that Little Britain weight watchers character played by Matt Lucas, referred to us all as "mum". It was ghastly. "Now Mum, you'll want to eat lots of chocolate, but just one or two bars a day will do...ha, ha..." Tipped me over the edge...

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  4. I TOTALLY agree! In fact I'm not happy with anyone calling me Mum at the moment - people at the supermarket, friends of my parents... in fact even my husband... eugh... I am not his Mum and on no account should he call me Mum!

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  5. Exactly! I am not your mum, I have a name.

    Years ago, when introducing my grandmother to someone new she said "please call me Laura, I haven't heard my name in years." Her husband called her Mother (an old fashioned and terrible idea), her kids and grandchildren of course used mum or grandma, and everyone else a polite Mrs. Peterson.

    Sara

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  6. I totally agree! In the neonatal unit they call all mothers just 'mum' and it's actually v depersonalising somehow

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  7. Ellie, some people (teachers) are still doing it years later, brace yourself xx

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  8. Some of my daughter's nursery carers do it and it drives me mad. I am not their mum and mum is not my name. I remember their names and ask if I can't. They should either ask or just don't use a name.

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  9. Is it just me or is anyone else fed up/does anyone else get called mummy by their family? As in "hello mummy!" (apart from the little one that has that relationship with me). I think I might have to say something... I am still Anna!!!

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  10. They really just do it to make it easier for themselves. They think it's ok as their job is to take care of the baby not to remember mothers' names, the sad thing is they can't remember the children's names either

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  11. Hmmm, well Ellie, I love ya. But working on a PN unit, I can tell you we are so over worked, overstreched, and under resourced that it's a miracle we can remember our own names, never mind yours!!!! 'Mum' defo makes for less confusion (you'd be amazed how many blokes stand to attention when I say 'can I just check your pads'!) But it also helps ensure confidentially - we don't like saying your names out and your problems for the world to hear! As for remembering baby's names? Not a hope in hell!!! But don't think for one second that this compromises your care - we are so busy concentrating on your care, that details like first names and baby names just dont have room in our heads. It's not a sad thing, it's just reality. But that's the glory that comes with the NHS, and believe me, the NHS is a glory, I'm so proud to work for it. We definitely dont do it to make life easier for ourselves I can assure you!!!

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